Confession #112: When The Righteous Cry Out

ace3a84d08434a8c3211b654178a2088Today I want to ask you for a favor: I need your prayers. I know I ask for that often- prayers for Baby Jake, for our adoption, for our wisdom and strength, for our finances, and for our teens at Emmaus House. We, like many of you, have witnessed the power behind the prayers of many and we are confident it is our most powerful resource here on earth.

There are many reasons why Hunter and I have chosen not to be public about our vehicle situation. I think embarrassment, wanting to avoid the whole Haiti is so corrupt talk, and a tad bit of denial are to name a few. But the more time passes, the more we realize we can’t deal with this alone. We need our brothers and sisters to surround this situation in prayer.

Last Christmas we received a donation to ship a SUV to Haiti. This vehicle, which was ours in the states, would serve both Emmaus House and our family. With the price of vehicles in Haiti being so high and the fact that we had a quality SUV just sitting unused in FL, shipping rather than buying seemed like the best option all around.

We received a referral for a shipping company in FL towards the end of the year. Excited about the company’s initial quote and the prospective timeline of 4-8 weeks, we dropped our vehicle off at the FL dock in January and handed over our keys.

Fast forward 9 months and we still have yet to receive our keys back. Still sitting at the Haitian port, there are many reasons why we are currently stuck. And although I would love nothing more than to write out all the crazy details here and now, I feel like I should refrain until the truck is sitting at my house. For now, let’s just say there has been a lot of mismanagement, neglect, and deception that have played a part in the delay.

Looking back at some of the trials we have faced thus far in Haiti, we have often shook our heads about the vehicle and said, Of course this would happen to us. This is just our fate. Other times we (okay, maybe just I) have resorted to crying and, quite honestly, pouting. And when all else has failed us, we have spent countless nights on our roof, starring at the star draped sky and begging God to take control of this situation for we are utterly helpful.

It’s just a vehicle. It’s material. It will one day break down and be no more. I get it.

But right now, this vehicle is our ability to be mobile as a family (now, we are not). It is our ability to be safe when Baby Jake comes in just 8 weeks. It is our ability to take the family vacation we have never once had. It is the ability to travel around with our EH teens- to service projects, churches, soccer games, doctor visits, school meetings, market, and so much more.

Right now, we travel by moto, but never all together. We always have to leave someone behind. And my belly…oh man…Jake does not like the moto accompanied with the rocky roads of Haiti. And I don’t blame him. But what else am I supposed to do?

As I said early, right now are feeling rather hopeless. I know without a doubt that God is bigger than this situation. I know he knows the needs of our family and Emmaus House. And I know that whatever strongholds are at play here he can overcome them all.

I’ve been resting assured in this passage lately:

For though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does. The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought and make it obedient to Christ. And we will be ready to punish every act of disobedience once your obedience is complete. 2 Corinthians 10:4-6

Last week, right before Hunter spoke with the shipping company, I prayed this passage over him. Remembering that our weapons should not be the same as the world’s, but instead relying on the divine power of God is something we have to remind ourselves of daily. Because let me tell you, we’d love to fight this thing the way the world would have us to. But instead we are choosing patience, self-control, and searching out the truth to the best of our ability. We are seeking legal advice and taking things one day at a time, all the while praying for a miracle.

According to the shipping company, we should have our vehicle by the end of the year. Then again, they have given us countless deadlines before, all of which have fallen through. Even still, even if they are faithful this time around, Jake and family come in November. And in the meantime, I am slowly losing my ability to ride the Haitian roads on the motorcycle safely. We’ve looked into rental cars to hold us over in the meantime. But with the average rate being over half of our monthly support, renting is just not an option.

So we sit. We wait. And we pray. And now I am asking you to pray with us.

PRAY that the shipping company will finally follow through with their word.

PRAY that the truck will stay safe at the port.

PRAY that whatever action needs to be taken will be made clear to us.

PRAY that the truth will be brought to the light.

And PRAY that God will keep our family safe and make our hearts content with our current situation in the meantime.

The Apostle Paul once said he had learned to be content no matter what his situation in life- whether he had a lot or he nothing (Philippians 4:12). Sometimes I sit and think of him writing that and just smirk. Sure you were Paul. I’m sure you were always content. Impossible, I think. Now please don’t judge me. Being content is hard, especially when trials knock you down, people take advantage of you, and all you feel is weak. What exactly is there to be content about when you are weak?

Oh yeah…of course…here comes Paul again.

That is why, for Christ’s safe, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. 2 Corinthians 12:10

Delight? DELIGHT? Paul, are you for real? 

Turns out he was…

So in my current weakness, I will delight. In the hardship my family is facing, I will delight. In the difficulties surrounding the release of our truck, I will delight. For WHEN I AM WEAK, Christ will MAKE ME STRONG.

All praise will be given to God the day the keys to our vehicle return to our hands. It will only be because of his powerful love for us that we will have it here in Haiti. It will be a blessing for our family, for our ministry, and we hope to use it to bless many others in this country.

Psalm 34:17 says that when the righteousness cry out, the LORD hears them and then he will deliver them from all their troubles. So today, we are asking you to cry out to the LORD with us, because he will hear us. And we pray, oh we pray, that he will deliver us from this trouble.

~ Jillian

3 Comments on “Confession #112: When The Righteous Cry Out

  1. Yes, I will pray.

    Handling such a helpless situation when you’re pregnant, remaining hopeful after so much falsehood, understanding that Satan and deceit go hand-in-hand in this ole world – these are all so difficult for you, and they would be for any of us.

    I don’t know any way to help…except to pray. And I will pray. (Plus, I’m sending you a hug from Oklahoma to accompany my prayers on your behalf.)

    Psalm 55:17…Evening, morning and noon I cry out in distress, and he hears my voice.

    Remember, He cares for you!


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