Confession #52: We Can’t Be Super Human

superwomanYou can’t be super human for the long haul. And if you try, you won’t succeed.

I walked away with many ideas from Idea Camp, but this one may have been the most valuable. It was said multiple times, by multiple speakers, and in multiple forms and fashions.

Over and over again, some of the most experienced NGO leaders shared the same thought: You can be the best world changer, give all of yourself away for a great cause, but if you don’t take care of yourself  (and your family) you will never finish strong.

I loved the way Mike Foster from Second Chance said it the best when referring to missionaries and NGO workers getting burned out so easily simply due to not taking care of themselves. “Be smart,” he said, “Be in it for the long run.”  In other words, you need to walk, not run. Your mission is not a marathon and you shouldn’t be in any rush to save the world tomorrow. If you want to last as a missionary or as someone who wants to help others for a long time, you need to go slow, take care of yourselves, and take care of your family.

Now let me back it up…

I’ve been running a BIG OL’ RACE for quite a while!

And that is just CRAZY because I HATE, like really HATE, running!

But yet I can’t seem to stop.

For some reason, and who knows why, ever since I have moved to Haiti I have been running full speed ahead. From the time I wake up to the time I go to bed, I feel like I am not allowed to stop.

People need me. My husband needs me. My kids need me. My employers need me. My teens need me. My supporters need me. And at the end of the day (By that I am referring to midnight.) there is no time for me.

In the beginning I complained about this kind of lifestyle. And then about a year in I just assumed perhaps I was being selfish- wanting “me” time. After all, God sent me to Haiti for others, not myself. Geez! What kind of missionary was I, right?

But lately the lack of rest in my life has begun to take a toll on me in more ways than one. I honestly have tried to be super human- super human homeschooling mom, super human Emmaus House administrator, super human fundraiser, and super human wife. How have I done? I will confess, I’ve been falling to pieces.

I can’t tell you the last time I rested. Truly rested. I went to the beach a few weeks ago for a day. Before that, I can’t tell you the last time I took a day off. My last two trips to America- both fundraising trips full of daily traveling so there was no real rest there (Just good food.). My last honest vacation from my super human life- 2011. So yeah, I’m tried. I’m stressed. And it is showing.

Thankfully I have a really awesome husband. I don’t know if you know that. His name is Hunter and he is a photographer. If you have never checked out his WORK, you should! Anyway, he is also a very gracious husband and as I was packing my bags for Austin this past week he saw my struggles and offered me the opportunity to add a few weeks on to my trip to go home and rest. This of course meant he would be left in Haiti, alone with the kids, and alone with all of the Emmaus House responsibilities. But again, I told you he was wonderful!

So here I am. Sitting in a cozy chair in my parents living room, wrapped in a blanket, smelling the sweet aroma of the cinnamon candle lit beside me, and watching pointless TV. I am relaxing. I am feeling peace. And I am happy.

I plan on being in Tennessee for a little less than two weeks. While here I will be resting, but I still can’t help myself from doing a little bit of work for Emmaus House. I will be visiting with a few churches and working on some other important items that are going to be easier now that I am in the states.

While I’m here I would greatly appreciate your prayers- prayers that God will use this time of rest to restore my soul, prayers that I can use this time to get share all the amazing things He is doing at Emmaus House with some new people, and especially prayers for Hunter, my little ones, and the Emmaus Youth back in Haiti.

I will be in touch while I’m here. I have some incredible stories that I am about to share so I really want you to stick around even though I’m not in Haiti. In the mean time, I am going to get back to resting.

Jillian

3 Comments on “Confession #52: We Can’t Be Super Human

  1. Your sweet mama and daddy are going to help you fill up your energy packs. They both know the toll running full speed ahead will take on a person. Be smart and listen to them and enjoy a little spoiling.

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  2. Praying for you…having been in your shoes. The transition away from the idea that we ‘need to be superhuman’ as missionaries or for me as a doctor was hard and I still struggle with it some. But I’m in such a better place in my life, my spiritual health, my being a wife and mom now that I have some margin it’s remarkable. Listen to Him. Lean on Him. Rest in Him.

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  3. Thanks for this (and all of your blogging)! I’m a missionary serving in PNG and appreciate reading of others serving around the world with many of the same struggles. Rest up and keep thriving in the work that God has prepared for you. 🙂

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