Confession #36: Sometimes I Don’t Care for Poor People

I live in a country full of poor people, and this I do by choice. You’d think this means that I would be in servant mode 100% of the time- wanting to help them, wanting to give to them, wanting to love them. I wish this was true. I wish I was like Jesus. But guess what? My heart is often hard. Something the Bible warned me about. Even as a missionary, I must confess, I often don’t care about poor people.

Even today I passed a blind man and his son begging me on the side of the street with two full grocery bags in my hands and a purse full of change. I lied to them, telling them I had nothing to share as I climbed on the back of Hunter’s new motorcycle. I didn’t even have the decency to look the father and his child in their eyes. I just ignored them. I was busy. They were in my way. Enough said.

Now as I think about it, who do I think that I am? I know I can’t help everyone. I know that Haiti is full of people who beg and that my monetary giving has the potential to only further that problem. But my heart still has no excuse to be as hard as it was today. I have no reason to not look people in the eye. It is inexcusable for me not to speak to people, to not offer them my respect, and share at least a glimpse of the love of Christ within me.

I need to care more about poor people because Christ lives within me and He cares A LOT about poor people.

Do you?

~ Jillian

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